SEO email overload

I've been getting a lot of emails from companies that find my website on google and want to do my website's SEO (search engine optimization). The thing that really bugs me is that, first of all, they most likely clicked my ad and I had to pay for that click. Second, they aren't really looking to see how and where my site ranks, they just send the same email to everyone. One company even claimed that I only have 2 back links to my site when I know for a fact I have a lot more than that. Third, obviously you found my site, so probably many other customers found my site also.  You can check where your website ranks nationally and internationally, and how many back links you have at www.Alexa.com.

Having someone do your sites search engine optimization is somewhat time consuming and therefore can be expensive. I've built up some back links on my own but it does take time and obviously the knowledge to do this for a website. There are so many companies out there doing it, that it's hard to tell who you should go with and what's the best deal out there. None of these companies ever list their quotes on a website. Most don't even have a website for you to see anything else they've done.

The main question you have to ask yourself about getting SEO back links made vs. just advertising on google can be answered by seeing how much your google ads traffic is really costing you. Keywords can cost anywhere from 5 cents per click to $8 per click. Obviously if the keywords you want to use for your site are $8, it might be a good idea to look into having someone do your SEO. But if they're lower like 5-30 cents, it may not even be worth it. SEO companies usually charge anywhere from $100 (if your lucky- more like $200 minimum) to $500 per month for SEO backlinks.

I'd say that the ideal person to have is a friend that will give you an honest opinion about who to hire, where to put your marketing money, and how to filter out all of these sales emails that claim they will help you... and won't charge you an arm and a leg to do so. Unfortunately we don't have this luxury, I do this for one friend/ design client. Maybe a good title would be "Bullshit filterer" Too bad my email spam filter doesn't completely filter out all of this but it does do a decent job for the most part. haha

I want to come up with a smart ass reply to all of these companies that email me about SEO. Any suggestions? :p